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Home For The Holidays

Posted on November 28th, 2008

The week is almost over and I’ll be leaving to head back to my ‘regular’ life on Sunday.  My sister and I spent our annual Black Friday at one store and then out to lunch.  We didn’t even leave the house until 11am.

But still we found some great buys, got some Christmas shopping done and did some great sister-friend bonding.

With four children it isn’t often I have time for adult time but today is one of those annual events that has come to mean more than shopping.  We are able to spend time together just being sisters, arguing over who pays for lunch and laughing over anything we feel like.

I also had the opportunity to make a list of some of the things that I have been thankful for this past year.  And I’ve found that the list is huge.  I may feel overwhelmed some days with caring for the children and the house – I may be jealous of my ex’s ability to be the ‘fun’ parent – I may even feel a bit panicked sometimes about how I’m going to put food on the table – but I still was able to make a huge list of things of how God has blessed me this past year.

And knowing that He isn’t finished yet I am ready to face this next year with the hope and joy that only comes from Jesus.

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The Holidays Have Really Arrived!

Posted on November 26th, 2008

I have a tradition that we’ve been doing for about 10 years now.  It heralds the beginning of the holiday season for me.

In the past month I’ve been struggling with the celebration of halloween that we go through each year.  The whole trick or treat thing attracts the younger two like a moth to a flame.  All the kids are doing it.  And imagine those huge bags of sugar candy!  They can’t stop talking about it from October 1st on.

But the Holiday Season for me is a celebration of thankfulness for all the wonderful blessings that God has given me.  Even in the hard times I am blessed by His Grace and support.

I love this time of the year  – even though I can’t stand the cold and am sure that God wants me to live on the beach someday

And what heralds the start of the season?  The annual trip to my sister’s house where we talk, laugh, eat and celebrate life.  She stresses over the meal and I lounge around in big sweat pants while the kids are magically cared for.

Well, maybe not magically since she and her husband work pretty hard this week!

This is the start of a wonderful two months where no matter what is happening in the rest of life we celebrate blessings, His birth and our joy in Him.

I am thankful all year round but this time of the year is just a bit more special.

And the children feel it too.  In this year where our lives have been torn apart and nothing seems the same it is joyful to come here and watch life unfold in a way that it does ever year.

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Travel with Dad

Posted on November 22nd, 2008

The boys had a basketball game last night out of town.  It was a game that was played near his brother’s home so they planned on staying overnight there and coming back today, Saturday.

I got to talk with them last night and they called again this morning several times from the car on the way back to the city.  It’s a different experience.

When we were still married he took them out of town for basketball at least two or three times a season and it never crossed my mind that anything would change.

But today I spend a bit of time wondering what would happen if he just decided to cut and run with the boys – or any of the kids?  It’s not his personality because it would just be too much work for him.  He can’t concieve of working that hard to do anything.

But that thought stays in the back of the mind each time he takes them.

And then there is always the influence his family has on him.  The last time he visited with his mother and brother he came back insisting that he wanted joint custody.  It took a couple months of negotiation to get him to finally realize – for the second time – that sole custody on my part didn’t mean that he wouldn’t have a relationship with his kids.

He equated joint custody with being a good dad.  Unfortunately for the older three he’s never been a good dad.  But today, he’s making a real effort to be a good dad to the youngest girl.

And with God’s help he’ll accomplish that.

But in the meantime, each time he visits his family before the papers are finalized in the court, I’ll have a sneaky thought in the back of my mind that he’ll be changing his mind just one more time.

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