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I Bought It on Ebay!

Posted on January 26th, 2010

My kids have been humming a song around the house these past couple of days. And then, out of the blue, YELLING – “I bought it on eBay!”

For the life of me I couldn’t figure out what they were singing. So they took me to the page and let me listen to Weird Al Yankovic singing.

Now I know I’m behind the times – cause the song was published on YouTube 3 YEARS ago! But it is cute – and I’ve sold on eBay

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When Do the Relationship Games Stop?

Posted on January 21st, 2010

I started thinking about some of the head games that both men and women play when they’re dating.  And it suddenly struck me that what I might call a head game, the other person may believe is accommodation.  That’s really not the right word – but it’s kind of what I mean.

Being authentic and transparent leaves you open for criticism and hurt.  So I’m finding that people, especially men, are more interested in accommodating their own feelings while trying to decipher yours.  This makes them manipulative without trying to be hurtful.

In other words, I don’t think people honestly are playing games (FOR THE MOST PART!) but are trying to protect themselves while determining if they are either interested in the other person or are trying to get out of a relationship without too much fuss or in your face confrontation.

For instance, I met this guy several weeks back . . . well, it may have been a couple of months actually.  We talked on the phone several times, emails back and forth and then decided to meet for coffee.  It was a 2 1/2 hour coffee filled with stimulating conversation, laughter and fun.  He gave me this big hug good bye and was gone.

Never to be heard from again.

Was he playing games?  Probably not.  He just didn’t want the confrontation of saying he wasn’t interested and wasn’t kind enough to use email to say the same thing.

The same thing happened this week.  We didn’t meet but had a great conversation on the phone.  He sent several emails expressing a real interest in meeting. I sent another email back that we could set up a meeting the following week?  And haven’t heard back from him in close to a week.

POOF!

I used to think that this type of behavior was people playing games to get what they want – and I do think that there are people playing games for a variety of reasons – but this kind of behavior I BELIEVE is just a result of not wanting any kind of confrontation AND having the luxury of ignoring technology (cells phones, email etc) to attain their goal.

Maybe they changed their mind.  Maybe they met someone else.  Or maybe they just aren’t all that in to me.  But either way you slice it the reality stays the same – and the outcome is the same.  The only thing that is different is me.

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Why Doesn’t He Call You Back?

Posted on January 15th, 2010

I picked up a book the other day and read it.  Well, to be very honest – it took me a week to finish it – not a day.

The book, “Why He Didn’t Call You Back ” written by dating coach Rachel Greenwald, evaluated the responses of 1000 men about their dating experiences.

The men shared all of the reasons they didn’t call women back and the author placed them into 20 different categories.  There were the big 10 and the next 10 reasons.

I had no IDEA that there were 20 DIFFERENT reasons why a person could decide that they didn’t want to get to know a person after meeting them the first time.

I thought there would be the usual visual reasons (since men are such visual beasts), like wrong figure, wrong size (of any body part or the whole body), wrong facial features or wrong ethnicity.  Then there might be women who are too clingy early in the first date, or women who cuss/don’t cuss, want sex or don’t want sex, or women who treat the guy like he was dirt.

I had no idea that those reasons fit into other larger categories and that there were another 16 reasons after those.  I have quite a bit to learn about dating in the Internet age where men have more choices than a kid in a candy store.

Now, on my list of things to do, is to read this book again so that on the off chance I actually DO meet another guy I won’t fall into one of the obvious traps.

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