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When Dating Isn’t Dating Anymore

Posted on July 1st, 2010

Am I so old that dating has become something entirely different?  I love technology but I don’t really think it belongs in the relationship arena – except to make things a bit easier or more convenient.

For instance, I love my cell phone so I can contact the kids if I’m running late or get directions to the place I’m meeting someone. But when did texting become a means of flirting?

I do like the idea of being able to meet some people online – because I work in a situation where I don’t meet very many new people. And I understand the idea that email for a week, calling for a couple of days and then meeting is a good safe option when you don’t know the man from Adam.  But somehow, in all of the excitement of meeting people or looking through profiles, the whole idea of dating has completely changed.

Now it’s a catalog and not an introduction.  Now there are so many options that it’s too difficult to make a decision.  And without a great picture, aren’t you really just asking for failure?

I would love to meet someone that a friend of mine introduced me to.  Someone who knows someone who I know. The old fashioned way   But that doesn’t appear to be an option at this point.  I’ve actually asked everyone that I know (who is my age-ish) if they know any single/eligible men.  The answer is a resounding “No!”  The men are either married, too young, too old or gay.  None of those categories are acceptable.

So, I am reduced to following the current relationship trend.  According to advertising by Match.com approximately one out five relationships are started online – and many of these lead to marriage.

In preparation for this momentous occasion I made a stop at my friendly neighborhood library and did a quick search online.  I did sign up for Evan Mark Katz ezine and have gained some interesting insight into the male psyche.  All of a sudden, the zero to sixty to zero male behavior makes a bit more sense. (And my sister had some accurate comments about that one too!)

I also saw the movie, “He’s Just Not That In To You,” and thoroughly enjoyed it. It helps to know that it’s nothing personal – it’s just chemistry.  And there are times when we’re just not into them either!

I was watching In Plain Sight the other night (tv show about Witness Protection) and the lead actress was talking to a teen witness.  A comment was made about “still knowing what second base” was.  The teenager leaned in, looking Mary directly in the eye and said, “No, let me tell you . . .” and Mary stopped her – “It can’t have changed all THAT much? Could it? No! No! I don’t want to know.”

And that’s me – dating really hasn’t changed all that much – has it? Cause really, I don’t want to know!

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Working Out the Timetable as a Single Mom

Posted on June 28th, 2010

At some point in my growth as a person I realized that I work best when my schedule is stressed.  In other words, I get more done when I have more to do.  I don’t know if this happens to other people, but it does happen to me.

HOWEVER, in the past several months I’ve come to realize that I have piled a bit too much on the plate.  Now I’m at a point where I can’t figure out how to have my own life, earn a living, keep the house and raise the kids.

How do you work that all out when you’re a single mom?

I think it would work if all my kids had their driver’s license.  But, since the youngest is 7 and I don’t let them drive until their over 16 – it could be a while.

In the meantime, I’m trying to develop friendships, maintain old friendships, keep the yard cleaned up, homeschool the children, go to basketball games, fix dinner – you know the drill.  I’m still trying to figure this all out.

In the meantime I’m expanding the reach of my company.  I usually work just for myself but now I want to do some consulting to help lessen the possibility of another reduction in business like I experienced last February – like the rest of the country did too.

Not complaining – just the thought of adding even more to this already stretched time budget makes me wonder where sleep fits in to the picture?

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Out Of The Box

Posted on June 25th, 2010

Stepping out of my comfort zone and doing something different has been a real effort for me.  I love being at home, surrounded by my by family.  But my family is growing and getting lives of their own.  So it’s time I get one of my own.

I’ve been on Match.com now for about a month and ‘met’ several men.  Somehow sending and receiving email is so much less threatening than leaving the house and going to meetings or participating in group activities.

But participate I must!  So I am inserting strength and courage and will attend the next Jelly meeting in my city.  If it kills me (and it very well may!) I will meet and work with other people who work from home.

The concept is great.  Work at home men and women get together once a month to work together with their laptops.  It gives us stay-at-homers the opportunity to talk with real people, in real time, face-to-face.

However, and it’s a BIG however, it scares the snot out of me!  I will walk into this room with other professionals who all know each other.  I will be odd man out.  It’s not that I’m not familiar with this position – being odd man out – just that it’s not one I appreciate or enjoy.

Not that ANYONE enjoys it – but it scares me.  And each time I’ve responded and told them I would come I’ve backed out at the last minute for one excuse or another.  This month will be different.  This month I will attend – and then I’ll let you know how it goes

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